There’s something I’ve noticed as a new parent - sometimes you just have to laugh at the truth and embrace the lie. A few weekends ago, we were up north visiting the E-man’s maternal grandparents in the Town-That-Is-Practically-Canada. It’s a 2.5 hour drive, and we’re always relieved to walk into the door and drop our stuff. But this time, as we walk in, we see the toy on the counter that Grandma-D had purchased for the E-man and had been talking about all week. We were horrified by what we saw.

It wasn’t that it was a choking hazard, or that it had pins and needles sticking out of it - it was nothing that simple. We were horrified because the E-man already had that toy.

We hadn’t yet encountered this situation, and we gave each other furtive glances in an attempt to telepathically come up with a solution. Which was funny, considering we can barely communicate when talking out loud! So, in our unspoken language, we decided to lie.

What made the situation even more hilarious is that we had the same toy sitting in a opaque plastic bag on the floor of their livingroom, just feet away from its doppleganger. In a desperate attempt to hide the lie we were about to profess, I grabbed up our stuff and took it to our room, where I hid it amongst our clothes. Naturally, the toy makes lots of noise when it’s activated, so I spent the next few minutes and the rest of the weekend worried that it would activate by itself and give us away.

Not long after we had opened the toy and given it to the E-man, who seemed to know what it was and how to play with it like the genius that he is, the phone rang. The lie police were about to test the strength of our conviction. It was Aunt-L, calling to say hello. Now, Aunt-L knows all about toy version 1.0 since she lives near us, so as Grandma-D started to describe toy version 2.0 to her, my heart clenched and I felt the adrenalin squish out of my glands into my bloodstream. Before I can intervene (or accidentally cut the phone line), Aunt-L is telling her we already have that toy!! It’s reinforcing itself as they talk - does it roll? - does it talk? In a last ditch attempt to preserve the lie, we tell Grandma-D that we know which toy Aunt-L is thinking of, and it’s not the toy he just received. It doesn’t do as much, and isn’t as nice. Maybe that part was a bit over the top.

So a disaster was averted, and the rest of the weekend went off without a hitch. Grandma-D was able to give her grandson a toy that he loved, and Mom and Dad learned a new lesson in parenthood.

(By the way, Grandma-S, who reads this blog, we’ve never lied to you about a toy - I promise).